Episode 2 (Spoiler Alert)

 Way too busy to write this week's post.  So we have guest blogger: Guinea Pig

Santa Gets Saved, But The Red Team Still Needs Jesus

I haven't watched BL in 2 years, because of my enemy number one Soap Opera Diva Alison Sweeney. That is a long story but I will say I miss Caroline Rhea.

I decided to watch for three reasons this season. I am participating in Lose Big 2012 (a private weight loss challenge ala BL) and we all discuss the show, so... I don't want to be out of the loop. The second reason is Dolvett Quince, He is a good and welcome change. Finally,  I auditioned twice for this season and as a result I am curious.
I am so grateful that I wasn't chosen, these people are out for blood. The problem is that on top of the fact that the two teams are so competitive with each other, within the teams they don't seem too supportive of each other.

Anytime you start something by gambling on it, there is room for disaster. Kim and Kimmy made a crazy decision on week two and I honestly think they should have voted one of them off because of that stupidity. They all worked hard for it and really didn't seem to let it stop them or discourage them. I love Dolvett's fire.  He pushes them in a way that, in my humble opinion, is far better than anything Jillian ever did.

The rivalry between Bob and Dolvett is also something I LOVE.  Bob seems so angry, and it amuses me. (sorry, Bob!) What doesn't amuse me is with the new way they have split the teams. This does not allow for real team bonding and unification. I feel that is needed in these first few weeks. In the red team especially I don't know what's going on. Last week at the weigh in Conda starts inappropriately mouthing off about Mike, I am not sure what he did that was so bad, but I could have missed something. This week she has fire in her eyes and so much hatred towards him.  She turned the team against him, and in my opinion the wrong person went home.

I am happy that Santa was saved by his wife, what a sweet moment! Overall, I like the new format of the show, but hope it doesn't stay so angry.  As long as I can keep my mind off my nemesis Alison Sweeney, I will be a fan of the show again.

In case you were curious as to why I did not mention the challenge, I thought it was boring and not really noteworthy. Gail, the lazy old lady on the black team, WOW is she deluded about herself and the opinion her team has of her. They are obviously not her biggest fans, but she is clueless to that fact.

I love the NO EXCUSES theme this year.  Will this be a whine free year?  I sure hope so.

You can follow Guinea Pig @ www.fatbutfierce.blogspot.com

Episode One -No Excuses (Spoiler Alerts)

Whoa Nelly! The Biggest Loser Season 13 No Excuses is going to be the best season ever. (Despite missing a couple of spirited contestants who are sisters who would have LOVED to go against each other....but I digress.)  Bob's hair is back to normal and ALL is right with the world!

Can I just start out by saying that tonight's episode was full of excitement?  Of course I can..this is my blog. I can say whatever I want.

Contestants stand at the gates of the Biggest Loser Ranch pleading for entrance with their anticipation...will they walk through? 

Not necessarily.  Cue Alison Sweeney doing her best Jeff Probst as she announces that entrance must be earned in a Survivor style challenge.  At this point I don't even care who these contestants are...I am already feeling bad for the team that thought all their prayers were answered only to have them stripped away for not being able to win a physical challenge.

A 40 yard dash will yield 4 teams safe.  The remaining 6 teams will compete in the same race after they get puzzle pieces and complete the puzzle accurately, then the final two teams fight it out in a Battle Royale of strength, balance, and determination.

First Heat- 40 yrd sprint-  Half of each team competes.  And they were off....that is until Mark (Grey) fell flat (well...kinda sprawly like) on his face, attempting to take Jeremy (Green) down with him.   Dark Blue, Brown, Yellow and Orange teams make it through.

Onto the next heat, Chism (Grey) completes the puzzle and seals the deal his dad couldn't. Mrs. Claus (Christine-Red) runs to her awaiting Santa... Purple follows not too far behind (Go Dittmer).

Cut directly to Biggest Loser Meal Plan commercial where my husband quickly advises me that he  needs like 3 of those meals to feel satisified (binge eater, much?).  I just wonder how people afford it. Does E-Diets take Food Stamps?

It is now down to two teams the Pink team, strangers Kim (WWE's Desire) and Emily (former Olympic weight lifter) and Light Blue, brother/sister team Adrian and Daphne.  I'll be honest here.  I am pulling for Adrian and Daphne.  This may be my totally catty side (who am I kidding...of course it is), but I kind of think there is some sweet irony if the "atheletes" go home. 

The challenge involves the team members standing on the balls of their feet in little "boxes"...facing each other and balancing on top of barrels.  The challenge goes on for minutes with dramatic editing revealing the struggle. Despite my telepathic pulling across the months and miles, Adrian and Daphne are sent home...but not without a challenge.  Lose 50lbs collectively in a month and they can return to the ranch. 

I am REALLY pulling for them.  I wasn't sure if I liked them at all, but in the end interview, Daphne had this totally defeated, dead to the world look on her face and oddly enough...I identified with it.

Alison announces they have 2 hours to workout then they get to choose their trainers.  I am immediately intrigued.  Is this the first year since Jillian that people will gladly choose the new trainer?  I am thinking so.  There are quite a few ladies in my family who are giving Dolvett the swoon.

First workout starts and BOY HOWDY are these trainers for real.  These are some of the most brutal workouts I can remember.  People are falling out all over the place.  The gym looks like a literal war zone.  "Medic, Medic"  ahahahahaha  this is great.  People are puking.  Dittmer Megan is fake puking.  (Didn't I say make us proud, Megan? )  Santa Claus is falling out.  This is freaking great!

Here's Alison to tell them the teams aren't competing together.  They are competing against each other.  Let the nuclear meltdown of emotion begin.  Don't get me wrong..had I been selected I may have been a little taken back, but the best thing for me would have been to put me head to head against my sister.  Love her, but I know it would have driven her to kick my ass as well. 

"I didn't sign up for this." said one contestant.  Guess what Mr.?  I didn't sign up for sitting here and watching you complain about taking a spot that myself or thousands of other people would have gladly jumped at the opportunity for.  There is no sympathy among the masses on that one, big buddy.

Eventually...it's the weigh in.

The trainers are concerned because the people are smaller this season, so they are not sure what to expect.  I get a text from my mom in the middle of all this that says and I quote "The contestants maybe smaller, but the bellies sure aren't"  What?  Mom?  LOL...I hadn't noticed mainly because I was particularly enthralled with the varying sizes of the male nipple.  Particulary the big old guy with the BB sized nips.  (Must have his name next week).

Low numbers on both sides.

Bob seems concerned, but he wasn't sure what to expect.

Dolvett seems concerned only with kicking Bob's ass.  (Loving him more now)  Dolvett calls out Nancy, as well he should.  No EXCUSES, remember Nancy?  I am not sure if she was trying to be funny, but I would never jokingly infer that someone is back there messing with the scale.  Thankfully, Dolvett called her on not putting in the work. 

Bob's Team High/Low  Joe and Ben tie for highest amount of weight lost at 15lbs. and Megan lost the least at 7

Dolvett's Team High/Low  Buddy with a fantastical 22lbs and Nancy at an EMBARRASSING 5lbs

Victory falls to Dolvett and Bob's team must send someone home.

Cut to same old, same old young people talking about how this is their chance, they have their whole lives ahead of them. I am happy that Gail (yellow) stood up for herself and forced the recognition that being young should not automatically qualify you for remaining on the ranch.  Then Ben (brown) does the one thing I can not stand...offered himself up to be sent home. It seems as though Ben REALLY misses his kids.  The team obliged him and he left.

Since leaving the ranch....Ben's weight loss is at a total of 50lbs.  He's happy with his decision as he cries in his at home confessional.  He plays ball with his kids now.  He plans to lose 150 lbs before Finale night and all is right with the world.

Please Read The Letter Below to The Eliminated Player.

Dear Ben,

    Did you not know what  you signed up for?  Did it not dawn on you that you would be leaving your family to better your life?  I heard you say that you wouldn't trade the experience for the world, but there are a lot of people out here that would have been willing to trade their whole world (for a bit) for the experience.  Despite your words, I don't think that  you can ever fully understand what that means.  If you learned all you needed to learn on the ranch in 1 week, why not just get a personal trainer and a nutritionist for 1 week.  Why not give your spot to someone who would've really appreciated it?  Squandering a gift is a terrible thing.  I believe your brother wants and needs to be there.  I am rooting for him in the hopes that he is more appreciative of the opportunity that God has allowed him.

Sincerely,
Biggie Bloggerson

Biggest Loser Preview Post

Tonight's Biggest Loser Season Premiere is different than any other season.  New Contestants, a consecutive return of a new trainer since Jillian left,  and more importantly to me...the first year I will resist the urge to eat a Sonic Footlong Coney while watching.

I hope I can find more to say about tonight's upcoming episode than Alison Sweeney.  

This season is called "No Excuses" which kind of confuses me because I was unaware that there were excuses allowed previously, but I digress.

I thought I'd spend time running down the pros and cons about the contestants, but truth be told the bios on the website are so blah. Anything I could have said about them would be just as uninteresting and borderline plagerizing so...if you can't say something legal, say nothing at all.  I need a Ramone or Sunny, this year. 

I mean...I can relate to some of them, but I have a hard time focusing on their bios and trying to relate to them when I really feel that editing did a great job of making them all look like wack-a-doo whiners.

I hope to find someone to root for, someone to cheer for...someone with whom I can relate.

Hopefully...

I am kind of excited to see Bob Harper.  Always my favorite trainer (although Dolvett may have finally filled the Jillian Michaels sized hole in my heart), his haircut was an issue for me last season.  I know that they film the seasons kind of concurrently, so I may have to live through it again.  Poor Bob...it looks a little "Third Reich". (Forgive me, Bob) Maybe that works in a training situation, though.  It is the first season I have actually been a little scared of him.  His toughest season yet for sure, we'll see if I feel any differently tonight.

Dolvett, Dolvett, Dolvett.  Last season you had something to prove and congrats...you proved it.  I am excited and hopeful that the friendly trainer rivalries will keep me interested and switching who I am rooting for from week to week.  I love Bob and I like Dolvett.  Make me LOVE Dolvett this year.

I  will end this "preview post" by saying Kim S. and Megan....Dittmer is watching and we desperately need something in which to be proud.

Happy Watching,

Biggie Bloggerson

Dear Bob and Dolvett,

I had a really good day.  I worked out.  I ate right.

Can't help but think I could've worked out harder and I could've eaten better, but I am here doing this by myself.  Making my own plans, crossing my fingers, and hoping for the best.  No...not hoping, working the best I know how towards what I want.

I have to be honest.  I was hyped and going like gangbusters towards my goal and then the damned "You didn't get chosen thing for this season" popped up again when a friend of mine texts me and fills me in that a mother/daughter team from my little bitty unincorporated town of Dittmer, MO (approx population 5200) is on this season. 

Its not like I was entitled to it.  Its just disappointing.  I guess that I will support Megan and Kim S. even though I can't help, but be jealous of them.  More jealous than I would have been had they been from anywhere else. 

It just means that I have to work harder than ever to make MY plan work.  If it doesn't?  Well...I've heard lightening doesn't strike in the same place twice, so I guess I'll have to move and re-audition, right?  LMAO.

What a whiner, I am!  :)

Big Plans tonight!  Me in front of my computer doing research for my Season 14 preview.

Until Next Time,
Biggie Bloggerson

Dear Bob and Dolvett,

You don't know me yet, which I can assure you is a loss on all our parts.  Don't get me wrong...I'm not conceited, I'm a lot of fun to be around.  I just want you to know that as much as I think I need you, I am not without something to bring to the plate.

I think you are both amazing men, which goes without saying...I mean...I dedicated an entire blog to reaching out to you and recapping Season 14.

Season 14 is really important to me.  Its the first season that I auditioned for the Biggest Loser.  I stood in line for hours in not one, but in two cities in 7 days. (St. Louis and Chicago)  I didn't make it obviously, which was a huge blow to me because despite all the positive messages from Holland and Kerry (casting agents) I walked out of there feeling like I failed at the one thing I was good at without really trying...being fat.

Turns out I was wrong...after blogging my weight and weight loss struggles for over two years, successfully completing two 5ks from May to June (2011), and losing 30 lbs since September of 2010...I spiraled out of control and as it turns out...I am still REALLY good at being fat.  Good to the tune of gaining all the weight I lost back.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not blaming this situation on not being selected, there were a lot of bad things that happened to me this year.  I was laid off from my job of nearly 8 years.  I have been unable to find another.  I put too much hope in the thought that the Biggest Loser Ranch was where I needed to be...everything bad was now making sense...this was my destiny.  Wah wah wah (bad game show music.)

It's ok though.  I'm still alive and I am still breathing which means that I can pick myself up and start from here.    I thought I was going to join the Biggest Loser Club and then I found out that I have to "electronically sign" a waiver that states I'm not diabetic...but I am so....that's out the window.  Not that you are in charge of that or that you can do anything about it, but it seems unfortunate that the show helps people with diabetes, but there is no "diabetic option" for the Club, but I digress.  I was going to send my butt to The Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge for a month to get a good head start, but with no job, $10,000 on "fat camp" is not realistic.

The point of all this is that I am going to follow along this season and do what I can to lose the weight and push further than I ever have before...all while critiquing the season and your every move.  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (evil laugh)

Until Next Time,

Biggie Bloggerson